Cross-country Trek Day One: Alabama Adventure Freeway...

So let me help you get an image... remember the Jabba the Hut line in my poem? Well, I'm living it. Just that part, but Jabba's white, freckled, hairy belly is talking to me from across the room... just wanted you to share in that very special moment with me... No pics today, so thought I ought to offer up some visual... At least it wasn't the sweaty version of Jabba after we loaded the Uhaul Clampett style and he hung his limp, wet t-shirt on my doorknob and walked around all jiggly and bare bellied...Okay enough of that, he,he...

Well, today was the day. The day I headed west. And the day mom's side of the family has been laughing about... so let the stories begin. Actually, today was relatively uneventful, but as y'all know, with my step-dad that doesn't quite mean not eventful at all.

Here are the rough bullets... maybe more to come in the morning... hopefuly, pictures tomorrow...


-- Gas station attendant #1 was dubbed sonofabitch by said step-dad at 9 this morning before said step-dad had seen the guy or had any apparent reason to call him a sonofabitch. This was a great way to start the day.

-- Said step-dad did not yell at me once or curse at me or pitch any tantrums of any kind in my direction. At first I thought Mom must have threatened to withhold sex (he, he, just kidding mom, sort of), but now I am convinced that at least part of the reason he's being so "thoughtful and considerate"-- his words--is because he gets to tell the U-Haul lady, another U-Haul manager, gas station attendant #1, apartment maintenance guy, rest stop janitor lady, rest stop cop, rest stop random strangers #s 1, 2, and 3 (he managed to corner a crowd; I had to get off the phone with mom to rescue them), Cracker Barrel waitress, and Fairfield Inn clerk that he'd gotten up at 3, hopped a plane in Savannah, rented and loaded a U-Haul, and was driving to Arizona for me. And that's just on day one.

[I'll write more about his whole story-telling thing later; although part of it is just ridiculous, I actually think there's something redeeming in this characteristic of said step-dad]


-- We used walky talkies, and he said 10-4 five times. Two were on his own, and the other three were part of my game to see if I could keep saying things that would make him respond "10-4". Actually quite entertaining. I kind of wished I knew more trucker lingo (or any) so I could throw it around but then decided it is much more fun just to see how many times I can get him to use it. it turns out 10-4 is all he knows. Not much variety on his part, but a fun game nonetheless.

-- We headed west on the Alabama Adventure Freeway. Not kidding. That's really it's name. There's a sign.

-- He christened everywhere we went with his very own burp and fart. Awesome. No matter how many people were around. No matter if I knew them or not. He's all about fairplay, I tell you. Equal Opportunity Body Functions for Everyone.

Okay. Nighty night time... and yes, b/c of the initial image, you 've probably already guessed: we're in the same hotel room. Weird. But surprisingly not creepy. More on that later too.

Hugs from Bessemer, Alabama, and the Alabama Adventure Freeway...