Dapple Dandy Pluot

Hello, my name is Jennifer. I was a virgin pluot eater. Not so much any more.

So, what is a pluot, you may be wondering... Well, it is apparently the life's work of one Floyd Zaiger, this dude who was born in Nebraska and grew up in Iowa and spent his life on a quest to use genetics to create the perfect fruit. Not much to do in Iowa. I think we all thought that, but this confirms it. So our friend Floyd played with the birds and the bees and cross-pollination till he got this 3/4 plum, 1/4 apricot thing that tasted kind of good. According to wikipedia, which we all know to be highly trustworthy, "the pluot, like the aprium, is derived from the half-plum–half-apricot hybrid called the plumcot." Plumcot? That sounds vulgar. I might have to add that to my road rage, name-calling list. I think "plumcot" will fit in nicely. Like, "What's your plumcottin' problem, plumcot? Gaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh (long and sighed out, Napoleon Dynamite-style), Plumcot!" Yeah, that should do the trick.